First day of my old life.

Dear readers if your out there,

I am just going to start writing and hope for a comprehensible story or at least something that resembles a journal entry. I need help. Advice from an unknown source, someone I can't blame for the outcome but also someone who will see this situation I call love for what it really is and help me find my way out. As always there is a boy. The kind of boy that transforms the puddle of mush that fills your chest back into a beating heart. However the age old question of the mutuality of love arises. I guess what I am saying is that I have tricked myself into thinking that I am in fact in a mutually exclusive relationship. I think I think I think TOO MUCH. Is this whole blog just another way for me to guard myself from experiencing the emotions that life requires of us? My friends say I am dramatic and think this whole idea of starting a blog is pointless. They are wrong. I need a way to safely open the flood gates without worrying who I am going to offend or who may see what I am really feeling. The time for hiding has passed and for the first time I want to see the world for what it is (as shitty as it may be). I don't know what is responsible these uncontrollable urges to fight or flee from every situation that involves me allowing someone to KNOW who I am. I don't know if it is safe but what is in life? Thus ends the first of many ramblings. I will include a note at the bottom of every blog indicating what music I am listening to because I think it will help you decipher my random thoughts.

Listening to Ingrid Michaelson "Be OK" album.